Lisa's family stories are fascinating to me. I've learned so much about this part of Quebecois history that I had never heard before (I learned some Quebecois history in my French class at college but never heard of the Irish Quebecois). The Francophile aspect of her family is also super interesting!
Like you, Aimee, I thought my grandma's side of the family had nothing remarkable except for the Japanese occupation trauma they went through. But reading this essay, especially what Lisa said: "My family is very ordinary, and they lived very conventional lives. But I find their choices every bit as interesting as if they’d been pirates or circus acrobats— because there is so often sacrifice or self-denial in those conventional choices, which we can have a hard time understanding today", I realized that a decision my grandma made was extraordinary for her time and her status (quasi-enslaved to her in-laws, completely powerless and without her own money). She ran away from her abusive in-laws after her husband died, to find a new city and a new husband to settled in, and then took back her children from the in-laws without getting killed. I really have no idea how she did it. Unfortunately she was a woman with few words, so I never got to hear the whole story before she passed away. Due to the lack of written records, I think finding anything about my ancestors' history would be very difficult.
Thank you for your interest! Yes, I'll find a way to incorporate it into my memoir (sort of working around the fact that there's quite a bit of gaps in the history). One curious fact that I found out recently, is that through 23andMe, I found a ton of 3rd, 4th and 5th cousins around the world. But I have no idea what to make of the data!
I second Lisa's interest! Maybe a short story would be the best way to access your grandmother's courage.
As for your cousins, are they Chinese? I've tried to find Chinese relatives and none come up on MyHeritage.com. If I found any close ones, I'd reach out to see if they had info about the family tree before 1900. But the more remote relatives probably just muddy the picture. Lisa would have better advice!
Thank you for your interest and encouragement, Aimee. That's a wonderful prompt for me to try out!
The distant cousins I found are mostly Chinese. I'm not familiar with MyHeritage.com... perhaps they haven't gotten enough DNA samples from folks outside of the Western hemisphere? I'm just throwing out a speculation here. Someone I know used Ancestry.com but found out that his Native American heritage wasn't reflected because the sampling didn't include enough Native Americans. I trust that Lisa would have better advice and insights on this!
I am not much of an expert on DNA. I started an online class on how to analyze the DNA snippets and my eyes just glazed over instantly. I have relied more heavily on written sources.
I did however find a few distant cousins on ancestry and 23&me. It was nice to connect.- in one case I found a man my age, a second cousin, who had been born to an unwed teen mother (my father's cousin) in the 1960s and had been given away for adoption. We didn't know he existed because the family had hushed it up. (Now the older generation, for whom this caused so much distress, are all gone. No one cares about stuff like this anymore. What a relief!) He was looking for any information about his mother, and I was able to put him in touch with my aunt, who remembered her well.
I think DNA testing is still in its infancy so as you noted there are insufficient samples for people of some national origins. There are a lot of false positives too. I ignore any results that have less than 1% shared DNA (that would be more distant that 3rd cousin).
I think that if you could find say a third cousin via one of the genealogy sites, that might be helpful. It's rarely the information they've posted that's helpful - more the little scraps of oral history they may have that can point you in the right direction.
But if you can't find anyone or any additional information that way, I would recommend filling in with as much historical context as you can find. One genealogist here on Substack noted that other people's diaries (sometimes found in archives and local museums) are a great source for information about the experiences of our ancestors. I have also found old directories to be immensely helpful. I found out quite a bit about my family in Ireland, who were shopkeepers, through 19th century city directories.
One way or the other, you should write the story down, either as fiction or "fact," with as much as you can find out!
Lisa, what you offered here was more than any source of information on the subject I've ever heard--thank you so very much! It will be a real challenge to find written records as most people in my family were illiterate up to my grandparents' generation. Even if they were educated, any evidence of that would have been destroyed during China's Cultural Revolution. However, my father's family settled in Indonesia for several generations. They were also illiterate, but I'm now curious to find out more about their past through my cousin in Singapore. She might be able to trace some history as she still has ties to the "tribe" in Indonesia. I feel like there is a whole new world opening up for me to explore. I might also reach out to the "3rd cousins" I found on 23andMe. I can't thank you and Aimee enough for piquing my curiosity!
This was wonderful. As someone who grew up with parents completely uninterested in family history and has only recently decided to document our heritage, I got a lot of ideas from Lisa’s stories and advice. Thank you
Lisa's family stories are fascinating to me. I've learned so much about this part of Quebecois history that I had never heard before (I learned some Quebecois history in my French class at college but never heard of the Irish Quebecois). The Francophile aspect of her family is also super interesting!
Like you, Aimee, I thought my grandma's side of the family had nothing remarkable except for the Japanese occupation trauma they went through. But reading this essay, especially what Lisa said: "My family is very ordinary, and they lived very conventional lives. But I find their choices every bit as interesting as if they’d been pirates or circus acrobats— because there is so often sacrifice or self-denial in those conventional choices, which we can have a hard time understanding today", I realized that a decision my grandma made was extraordinary for her time and her status (quasi-enslaved to her in-laws, completely powerless and without her own money). She ran away from her abusive in-laws after her husband died, to find a new city and a new husband to settled in, and then took back her children from the in-laws without getting killed. I really have no idea how she did it. Unfortunately she was a woman with few words, so I never got to hear the whole story before she passed away. Due to the lack of written records, I think finding anything about my ancestors' history would be very difficult.
Sounds to me like you know quite a lot! I hope you write it down fully. I know I would love to read the whole story.
Thank you for your interest! Yes, I'll find a way to incorporate it into my memoir (sort of working around the fact that there's quite a bit of gaps in the history). One curious fact that I found out recently, is that through 23andMe, I found a ton of 3rd, 4th and 5th cousins around the world. But I have no idea what to make of the data!
I second Lisa's interest! Maybe a short story would be the best way to access your grandmother's courage.
As for your cousins, are they Chinese? I've tried to find Chinese relatives and none come up on MyHeritage.com. If I found any close ones, I'd reach out to see if they had info about the family tree before 1900. But the more remote relatives probably just muddy the picture. Lisa would have better advice!
Thank you for your interest and encouragement, Aimee. That's a wonderful prompt for me to try out!
The distant cousins I found are mostly Chinese. I'm not familiar with MyHeritage.com... perhaps they haven't gotten enough DNA samples from folks outside of the Western hemisphere? I'm just throwing out a speculation here. Someone I know used Ancestry.com but found out that his Native American heritage wasn't reflected because the sampling didn't include enough Native Americans. I trust that Lisa would have better advice and insights on this!
I am not much of an expert on DNA. I started an online class on how to analyze the DNA snippets and my eyes just glazed over instantly. I have relied more heavily on written sources.
I did however find a few distant cousins on ancestry and 23&me. It was nice to connect.- in one case I found a man my age, a second cousin, who had been born to an unwed teen mother (my father's cousin) in the 1960s and had been given away for adoption. We didn't know he existed because the family had hushed it up. (Now the older generation, for whom this caused so much distress, are all gone. No one cares about stuff like this anymore. What a relief!) He was looking for any information about his mother, and I was able to put him in touch with my aunt, who remembered her well.
I think DNA testing is still in its infancy so as you noted there are insufficient samples for people of some national origins. There are a lot of false positives too. I ignore any results that have less than 1% shared DNA (that would be more distant that 3rd cousin).
I think that if you could find say a third cousin via one of the genealogy sites, that might be helpful. It's rarely the information they've posted that's helpful - more the little scraps of oral history they may have that can point you in the right direction.
But if you can't find anyone or any additional information that way, I would recommend filling in with as much historical context as you can find. One genealogist here on Substack noted that other people's diaries (sometimes found in archives and local museums) are a great source for information about the experiences of our ancestors. I have also found old directories to be immensely helpful. I found out quite a bit about my family in Ireland, who were shopkeepers, through 19th century city directories.
One way or the other, you should write the story down, either as fiction or "fact," with as much as you can find out!
Lisa, what you offered here was more than any source of information on the subject I've ever heard--thank you so very much! It will be a real challenge to find written records as most people in my family were illiterate up to my grandparents' generation. Even if they were educated, any evidence of that would have been destroyed during China's Cultural Revolution. However, my father's family settled in Indonesia for several generations. They were also illiterate, but I'm now curious to find out more about their past through my cousin in Singapore. She might be able to trace some history as she still has ties to the "tribe" in Indonesia. I feel like there is a whole new world opening up for me to explore. I might also reach out to the "3rd cousins" I found on 23andMe. I can't thank you and Aimee enough for piquing my curiosity!
This was wonderful. As someone who grew up with parents completely uninterested in family history and has only recently decided to document our heritage, I got a lot of ideas from Lisa’s stories and advice. Thank you
Wonderful to hear. Thank you, Barbara!